go, with the flow

15.3.07

i haven't blogged for very long but was just reminded to do so. i guess laziness to express everything in words have gotten into me. furthermore, im just so preoccupied with my job (but tml's my last working day) and my recently bought 2000pieces jigsaw puzzle. really enjoy placing every piece into its rightful position.
work has taught me a hell lot of things i'd never want to learn only when i start working life. im glad i get to know politics, business sense, emotions control and family responsibilities earlier. (:
recently, the feeling of lonliness has REALLY gotten into me. all my past friends are having their own lives at jcs and when i peered at 'em through their blogs/friendster accounts, it makes me feel so outta-of-their-lives. like they are not those friends who have accompanied me through the months. they will never be again. even the memories of the past seem so diminished. this should be what i call 'floating apart'. i reckon i shall miss my working friends equally. once im over feeling left out, im gotta go get my new poly life too. its just life, what we are used to.
there are many lessons i've learnt ever since the last post. shall talk about what i consciously remember.
firstly, i read a book called 'dont sweat the small stuff'. one lesson in it was 'let the madman have his accident elsewhere'. the morale was to NOT compete with the crazy fellow driving recklessly and instead let him off so as to stay outta any possible accidents. yeah, don't fight/quarrel/argue with mad ppl. not only will they never say 'you win', they make you unhappy, hurt, tired, spiritually mentally emotionally.
i also become more aware that many of us are indeed spiritually dumb, 'characterized by materialism, expediency, narrow self-centeredness, lack of meaning and dearth of commitment'.
many adults may say getting a diploma is gonna waste a year as compared to getting an a level degree.
if you can't make a connection between these two sentences, you may end up being one of the workin population who are never satisified with their jobs and their lives, living their entire lives only to sometimes wonder what exactly are they doin, then pushing off such insecurities because they understand its too late for regrets. no goals in life, no true happiness. and by then, in your thirties (early retirement perhaps) or seventies, what help has your load of money gotta offer to recompensate that certain regret you have about choosing the more 'realistic' route over the route you love or about not hanging out with your friends but mugging at home or about robbing yourself of the moments? live the moment.
heard of the fisherman story? another version that i know of from the show 'angel lover' is this: this young man wanted to earn alot of money so he could buy a house with beautiful scenerio. instead he was jobless and homeless. he met this homeless woman who stays on the streets. she had the view of the galaxy that money may not be able to buy, the fresh air to go along with it, the soft grass to lie upon, all for free. im not sayin the guy need not get a job or a home but why insist, dwell on things you cannot get at the moment for your defination of happiness? you miss out a whole lot more.
adults, this is smth you failed to retain as you grow. the simplicity of happiness.

sure we have not gone to the extent we forget people in the poor countries and other people around. what about the universe? do we still remember that Earth is not the only planet around and there may possibly be other creatures on other planets and that there are many many unknowns in the galaxy? do we still care that we remember? or perhaps all we now care about is ME, MY friends, MY life, MY world, MY impression that third world countries are poor, MY stand. do many of us still remember what is to think from the view of others? alright im getting more and more random.

the last thing i would like to mention that i learnt from the restaurant manager is this:
do not stand opposite me.
forget first about what you think and what you feel.
stand from behind me.
learn to think what i think and feel what i feel.

and i will miss yesterday so,
but i await tomorrow even more,
while i experience today, this very moment, fully

20:03